Hello, beautiful! Today I wanted to share part of my testimony & my personal experiences with you. Like half of the population my parents are divorced, they split officially during my sophomore year of college. Growing up my parents didn't show affection & they argued a lot, this is what I thought a relationship should be like. Needless to say they are better off not together. Before they officially divorced they were on & off for four years. This begun with the discovery of an infidelity. I'm sure you can imagine that I developed some serious trust & commitment issues. If my parents couldn't work it out & one of them was unfaithful how could I possibly be capable of having a good relationship.
Obviously I'm married now so I've overcome my commitment & trust issues. But it wasn't easy & it took sometime. Before Ricky I would date people & leave them for the littlest of things. A year into Ricky & I's relationship I could tell things were getting serious, I was afraid of this. I was afraid of getting attached & scared to be left. I had this mentality that I would rather leave first than be left. Any time we would get into arguments I would say I would threaten to leave.
It didn't occur to me that this wasn't right until Ricky said to me that I shouldn't say I was leaving unless I meant it. Obviously I love & care about him so much that I decided it was time to work on my inner self. I turned my hurt into faith that it was all going to be okay & that if something went wrong God would take care of it. I came around to understanding that just because my parents had gone through what they went through didn't mean I was going to endure that.
Understanding that truth & having faith in the fact that if anything ever did happen it would be taken care of by a higher power more powerful than myself. This fact set me free of my commitment & trust issues.
I leave you with Philippians 4:6-7 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs & don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts & your hearts quiet & at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus."
This is what helped me get over myself & if it only helps one person that would mean the world to me. Well dolls, till next time.
